So you're thinking of joining the Scheissfinger Fan Club, eh? Well you've come to the right place. Here you are at the official Scheissfinger Fan Club Web Site!
The Scheissfinger Fan Club (SFC as in "So Fucking Cool!") doesn't really need any introduction, but we'll give you one anyway. The club gives a fan the edge over all the other less devoted fans by giving them the opportunity to hear about band projects first, and to get special membership perks like autographed underwear, CDs or DVDs!
SFC members are always first to hear about concert tickets, online events, promotional opportunities, and really sick deals on merchandise no one else would even put down a nickel for!
But most of all, SFC members are a community. A community of individuals unafraid of what others might say when they crank up the volume on songs by the world's most insulting band, SCHEISSFINGER! Individuals unafraid to admit that they in fact are just lonely geeks looking for love in all the wrong places, searching for kindness in rooms full of faces, looking for love, looking for love...
Sure the band might show up at your house and raid the fridge. Sure you might get mixed up with some unsavory characters. So what if you get cornered by one of our buddies at a party and asked to do unspeakable things with a crow bar and a salamander? Who cares if your mother can never look you in the eye and say, "Son, your father and I only want the best for you" with a straight face? And who really gives two shits if you are forced to discuss with one of our friends what your favorite Beatles album is and to describe in a hundred words or less why exactly you think you are qualified in any way at all to expound on such a subject? ItŐs all just part of the Scheissfinger experience, an experience you can have now by dialing the phone and joining up with the Scheissfinger Fan Club.
1-800-555-0599 Call Now! or Just go away.